Whanaungatanga
We understand youth work as a ‘best practice’ relationship existing at the heart of everything it means to work well with young people. We see this in the traditional Māori value of ‘whanaungatanga’.
Here is the definition of ‘whanaungatanga’ from Te Aka, the Online Māori Dictionary1:
Whanaungatanga: relationship, kinship, sense of family connection – a relationship through shared experiences and working together which provides people with a sense of belonging. It develops as a result of kinship rights and obligations, which also serve to strengthen each member of the kinship group. It also extends to others to whom one develops a close familial, friendship or reciprocal relationship.Te Aka
Task: Whanaungatanga in the village vs. in the city
Watch this short video (2:11) as Darrin Haimona shares his experience of whanaungatanga from his childhood at his marae, through the dislocation of moving to Hamilton, to his whānau today.2 He places whanaungatanga within the context of his life and family.
This is the definition of youth work from the Code of Ethics for Youth Work in Aotearoa New Zealand.3
Youth Work is the development of a mana enhancing relationship between a youth worker and a young person where young people actively participate, discover their power, and choose to engage for as long as agreed; and that supports their holistic, positive development as young people that contributes to themselves, their whānau, community and world.Code of Ethics for Youth Work in Aotearoa New Zealand
In this Module, we explore the Code of Ethics for Youth Work in Aotearoa New Zealand (the Code of Ethics) and how it can guide us to develop safe spaces for working with youth. Throughout the Module we reference the principles and clauses in our Code of Ethics. Your aim is to become more familiar with the Code of Ethics and apply its principles with greater confidence in your practice working with youth in Aotearoa New Zealand.
The Code of Ethics for Youth Work in Aotearoa New Zealand covers a lot, but overall it is ‘an agreed set of guidelines for Youth Work in Aotearoa to ensure that Youth Work is carried out in a safe, skilled ethical manner’.3 It is a document written by and for youth workers through the NYWNA (National Youth Workers Network Aotearoa). But the Code of Ethics not only applies to professional youth workers; it provides ethical guidance for anyone working with young people – to keep us all safe.
The Code of Ethics for Youth Work in Aotearoa New Zealand has been through extensive consultations and rework over the years and is now in its third edition to align with principles of Mana Taiohi. The Code of Ethics articulates what ethical ‘best practice’ means when working with young people in Aotearoa New Zealand in the early 2020s.
In the next topic, we start exploring the Code of Ethics for Youth Work in Aotearoa New Zealand in greater detail, but for now we focus on what sits at the heart of all youth work – the youth work relationship.
Task: Whanaungatanga in youth work
Watch the short video Whanaungatanga – Mana Taiohi (0:59) as it describes whanaungatanga in youth work as the time creating and maintaining good relationships.4
Think about what the youth worker relationship means for you. How do you relate to these statements?
- Through relationships, youth workers help young people feel better about themselves, gain hope and confidence to experience more positive life experiences.
- The youth work relationship takes time, consistent positive feedback, acceptance and respect to build trust in the relationship.
Explore further
You may like to watch this video Earning trust: Relationship building with vulnerable young people (7:03) where a UK youth worker talks about her experience with youth work relationships, and the time and consistency necessary to build relationships of trust and respect.5
As you watch, think about how these experiences and perspectives apply to youth work and young people in Aotearoa New Zealand. What is similar? What are the differences?
Hononga matua
Task: Anahera, Peter and their youth workers
Do you remember Anahera and Peter from the previous Module? Read their case studies.
Anahera’s story
Anahera is a 16-year-old Māori female who lives with her Nanny Kaye and some of her other cousins. Anahera is a bright girl who suffers from chronic asthma and eczema. This has restricted her from playing sports, which she used to love to do, and she gets teased at school because her eczema is so bad. Anahera’s mother has been in and out of her life due to her own battle with depression and substance use. Fortunately for Anahera, Nanny Kaye has always been there for her, although she also has a number of other mokopuna in her care. Due to the bullying at school, Anahera’s self-esteem has dropped significantly and she actively avoids having to go to school. Lately, she has been wagging to go and hang out at the local park. Here she’s been drinking with some of the older boys and girls who are not at school. One of the boys, Hemi, aged 18, has been spending lots of time with Anahera and she really likes him. She’s never had a boyfriend before but she knows that Hemi has had lots of girlfriends.
How are things with Anahera now?
Anahera spends more and more time with her newfound friends. When they are not at the park, they go to Hemi’s cousin Teresa’s house. Teresa lives with her Dad but he’s never around because he’s a fisherman and often out at sea. At Teresa’s house they are all left to their own devices and there is plenty of alcohol available as Teresa’s dad makes homebrew. Anahera has increased her drinking to almost daily and spends days away from Nanny Kaye’s house now. Nanny Kaye is worried about Anahera and refers her to the local marae youth service. Jaycee (one of the community youth workers) starts to meet with Anahera when she is back at Nanny Kaye’s, but this is haphazard engagement. Jaycee understands that Anahera’s motivation is low to change, however, she keeps turning up to see her when she can. They are able to engage and share kai together over a couple of weeks. Jaycee begins to gain understanding and insight into Anahera and her world. They build a pretty good rapport and Anahera feels like she can trust Jaycee with some of the stuff that goes on in her life.
Peter’s story
Peter is a 13-year-old Samoan/Māori student who has recently moved into a new Kāinga Ora housing block in West Auckland. Peter lives with his Mum and three younger siblings aged 11, 9 and 6. Peter’s Mum is a solo parent because Peter’s Dad is in prison. Peter’s Mum is not working and currently on the benefit. Peter’s Dad is inside for family violence, which has occurred throughout Peter’s life. The family has been previously involved with Oranga Tamariki due to the many notifications regarding family violence. Peter has not yet been enrolled at the local high school as his Mum has been relying on him to help look after his younger siblings. When he can, Peter likes to hang out at the nearby park and shoot hoops with some of the older boys, usually after dark.
How are things with Peter now?
Peter has been working with Josh, the youth worker from the community centre, for a few months now. Josh helped Peter get enrolled in the local high school and the two of them get along pretty good. Peter still hangs out after dark and shoots hoops with some of the older guys. Josh tries to encourage Peter to go home but he is getting more and more reluctant lately. Josh has noticed that Peter has become more aggressive with others including his peers. He seems to be easily irritated and angered.
A report comes through to Josh’s boss at the community centre that some youth (one that fits Peter’s description) have been standing over other neighbourhood youth for their gears (shoes, clothes or money). When the youth have refused to hand over stuff, they’ve been beaten up. One parent reported that her son came home with no shoes and a black eye.
Josh’s boss tells him about these reports and Josh has a chat with Peter the next time he sees him. Josh lets Peter know that he’s noticed lately he doesn’t seem to want to go home at night and asks him if everything’s OK. Peter goes quiet and lowers his head. Josh gives him some space and time. Peter then tells Josh that his Mum got a new boyfriend who’s a real dickhead. Steve, the new boyfriend, orders Peter around and treats him and his siblings like his servants. Peter is sick of it. Initially he stayed home to make sure his siblings were OK, but this got too much and he and Steve ended up having a physical fight. So now he just tries to stay away.
Josh asks Peter how he’s been dealing with his feelings. Peter shows Josh his knuckles which are bruised and cut – Peter tells Josh how he’s been doing stand-overs with a couple of the other boys. He also discloses to Josh that he’s been punching stuff out of frustration at his Mum for having a new boyfriend and forgetting about his Dad who’s in prison. Sometimes Peter says he gets really sad about his Dad and then his sadness turns to anger. He said that he made a couple of holes in his bedroom wardrobe, but that Mum hasn’t found them yet.
The first clause of the Code of Ethics for Youth Work in Aotearoa New Zealand is ‘Hononga matua | Primary relationship’. Under that clause there are four subclauses or statements that define the nature of the ‘best practice’ relationship between the youth worker and young people.3
Read each of these four subclauses below. Think about how they might apply to a youth worker’s relationship with Peter and Anahera. Read what the youth worker has to say about what this statement means for Peter or Anahera.
An experienced youth worker comments on subclause 1.1 and the relationship between Peter and Peter’s youth worker, Josh: “In the case study relating to Peter, Josh can see that Peter’s mum needs help too. But he knows it’s not his role. Josh recognizes that first and foremost he is there to support and advocate for Peter. Peter’s Mum tries to get Josh to help lay down the rules at home. Josh has stated he’s happy to promote positive messaging but is not there to discipline or parent Peter. Peter is his primary focus and he makes that boundary clear to Peter’s Mum as well as Peter. When it comes to addressing the issues between Mum and Peter, Josh gets support from his manager at the Community Centre. Josh asks his manager to sit in on any meetings between the two. Josh’s manager has frank conversations with Peter’s Mum. He wants to make sure she understands that Josh’s primary relationship is with Peter. The manager also gives Mum advice and encouragement around parenting and communication with Peter.”
An experienced youth worker comments on subclause 1.2 and the development of the professional youth work relationship between Anahera and Anahera’s youth worker, Jaycee: “Jaycee’s involvement with Anahera started out in a haphazard way with stilted engagement. However, over time and with persistence on Jaycee’s part they built a solid relationship, which happened organically over sharing kai (food) together on a regular basis. Anahera looked forward to this time together. She was able to talk with Jaycee about what was going on for her. Over time, Jaycee was able to build trust and rapport to a degree that she was able to talk to Anahera openly and honestly about her drinking. With Anahera’s consent and also her Nan’s, Jaycee got her the support she needs to address and reduce her alcohol use. Anahera and Jaycee’s relationship ended naturally once Anahera was linked up to an AOD (alcohol and other drug) counselling service and re-engaged at school. Jaycee even got Anahera connected to the local marae where she works and Anahera is doing a weekly raranga (weaving) course.”
An experienced youth worker comments on subclause 1.3 and how youth worker Jaycee can manage transitions with Anahera: “As we can see with Jaycee and Anahera, the youth work relationship evolves over time. Jaycee was persistent in her weekly engagement with Anahera. She was consistent and kept turning up for Anahera, even though she knew that sometimes Anahera wouldn’t be at her Nan’s. Jaycee took care in building the trust between her and Anahera. She managed the transitions well from initial engagement, building trust with Anahera sufficiently to refer her to an AOD counsellor for the appropriate support, and then to eventually ending the youth work relationship once Anahera had sought support from the AOD (alcohol and other drug) service, re-engaged with school and also her culture. The youth worker, Jaycee kept Anahera’s safety and well-being at the forefront of her mind when engaging with her. She recognised that Anahera was unlikely to seek the help she needed without having someone to support her along the way. In her role, Jaycee bridged the gap for Anahera and stayed alongside her as she sought out the right supports and got back to school and culture.”
An experienced youth worker comments on subclause 1.4 and Josh resolving conflicts of interest in the youth work relationship: “Josh was Peter’s youth worker. Then, Josh was referred to work with a young man named Barry – but Barry was actually a victim of Peter’s bullying, back when Peter would stand over young people for their shoes, clothing and phones. As youth workers, we may find ourselves in situations where we are working with two or more young people who are in conflict with each other. Josh was referred to Barry but was still working with Peter. Josh talked to his manager about the situation. Together, they agreed it wouldn’t be beneficial for Barry to work with Josh, given the relationship Josh already has with Peter. So, the decision was made to refer Barry to another local youth agency that provides similar youth work support.”
Explore further
The relationship between youth worker and young person is a professional one. The youth worker centres the best interests of the young person, but must do so within a context of professional, legal, organisational, and cultural obligations. This is not always easy.
Research findings, academic literature and youth workers themselves all centre and value the youth work relationship as ‘the glue that holds our work together’. Unfortunately, the significance and value of that relationship is not always well-reflected in how youth work is organised, recognised and supported at an institutional, government and funding level.
- What does this contradiction mean day-to-day for youth workers?
- How can some of these tensions and gaps be addressed?
If you want to explore this further, you may like to read this journal article, ‘The glue that holds our work together: The role and nature of relationships in youth work’ by Helen Rodd and Heather Stewart from Youth Studies Australia.6 It presents research findings into the role and nature of the youth work relationship and how this needs greater recognition and support at a structural level.
What are boundaries?
Boundaries are the lines we draw in relationships to protect both ourselves and the people we are in relationships with. Our personal boundaries reflect our life experiences, values, and sense of self. They inform how we decide what is acceptable or unacceptable behaviour. But relationships are complicated and setting clear boundaries in our personal life relationships is not always easy for us to do. And it can be the same in our professional lives. However, within any relationship, clear boundaries over time enable us (and the others in the relationship) to feel safer, more secure and comfortable with the relationship.
Clear communication of boundaries and expectations enable us to maintain healthy relationships with others. This includes our physical, mental and emotional boundaries.
Boundaries and self-awareness
It is not always easy to identify exactly what your boundaries are. And these boundaries can be different in different situations and with different people. The boundaries we have with our children are different to those we have with our workmates or with strangers.
Think about interactions or relationships that have made you feel uncomfortable. It is likely that something about this situation involved crossing a boundary.
Think about the following questions in relation to different context and with different people; for example, at home with family, at work with colleagues, out drinking with your oldest friends, etc.
Physical boundaries:
- How much physical or personal space do you need between yourself and others?
- What types and how much physical touch is acceptable and unacceptable?
- When is it okay for others to touch your possessions?
Mental boundaries:
- When is it okay to share personal details, thoughts or opinions?
- What and how much is it acceptable and unacceptable to share?
Emotional boundaries:
- How is it acceptable to express emotions? What is unacceptable?
Personal and professional boundaries
Most people will have different boundaries in different parts of their lives. The boundaries we have in personal relationships can – and often should – be different to the boundaries we have in our professional lives.
Personal boundaries are how we look after ourselves in relationships, and how we manage our own energy levels. For example, choosing to say no to an invitation when you don’t want to go, or changing the subject of a conversation about personal details that you don’t want to share.
Professional boundaries protect us and the young people we work with. They help to define what it is to be professional in your relationships. They may be set by the organisation you work for, or through a Code of Ethics.
Task: I’m a youth worker
Watch this video of youth workers in Australia describing what it means to be a youth worker.7
As you watch, think about these questions:
- How do they define what it is to be a youth worker?
- What role do relationships play in their work?
- How do they describe that relationship?
- What do they have to say about boundaries in youth work relationships?
- How does this apply to you working with youth in Aotearoa New Zealand?
Task: Your workplace’s approach to professional boundaries
Here are some common issues that most of us think about in relation to professional boundaries. How do you approach these issues at work? Does your organisation have an explicit policy? Or are there unspoken expectations in your workplace?
What are your professional boundaries when it comes to the following points?
- What my role is and what I can and cannot do
- Separation of personal life and work life
- Personal relationships (or connections) with youth I have a professional relationship with
- Confidentiality and communication or sharing of ‘private’ or personal information
- Sexual harassment or inappropriate behaviour
- Knowing my limits or when a situation is beyond my capabilities; when and how to get expert advice and support or refer on to others
Explore further
If you are looking to understand professional boundaries better, you might find these resources useful.
This Australian resource offers some useful advice on maintaining personal and professional boundaries in therapeutic work. While it is not specific to working with youth, the advice in this ‘Maintaining Professional Boundaries Tip Sheet’ from Relationships Australia can also help you to set professional boundaries with any client.8
This TEDx Talks video ‘Good boundaries free you’ by Sarri Gilman (15:54) is not specific to youth workers or even therapeutic or educational situations.9 But it deals with a very important aspect of boundary setting, which is emotional responses to your boundaries. As she explains, when setting boundaries you may also have to deal with emotional reactions to those boundaries: “Boundary setting will unleash emotions.”
This PsychCentral article ‘How to deal with people who repeatedly violate your boundaries’ talks about one of the most difficult challenges of boundaries: what to do when someone violates them.10 Even if your organisation provides policy and support, it is not always easy. This article focuses on personal boundaries, but the principles can also apply to professional boundaries. How can you respond when someone repeatedly violates boundaries?
Boundaries in youth work
In a later topic, we will explore in more detail what the Code of Ethics for Youth Work in Aotearoa New Zealand has to say about boundaries and working with youth. But in this topic, we are introducing the concept of the youth work relationship and one of its most crucial aspects – boundaries. In order to effectively develop safe spaces for youth, we first need to appreciate the nature of the relationship we are establishing and to understand what our personal and professional boundaries mean in relation to that.
The Code of Ethics for Youth Work in Aotearoa New Zealand has a lot to say about boundaries, but here we will focus on two key aspects3:
- what youth workers do to create and maintain boundaries
- what the purpose of boundaries are for youth workers.
Youth workers create and maintain culturally and age-appropriate physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual and online boundaries.Code of Ethics for Youth Work in Aotearoa New Zealand
How to create and maintain boundaries
Read commentary below by an experienced youth worker on creating and maintaining boundaries in the youth work relationship:
“In the initial stages of building a relationship with a young person, as a youth worker you can lay down the boundaries and parameters of that relationship. Maybe you start a discussion about boundaries with your young person – talk about your role, confidentiality and gain consent for their involvement with you and your service.
Being clear about one’s role and responsibilities as a youth worker means you discuss boundaries right from the start with your young person. This can be a conversation and somewhat of a negotiation between youth worker and young person. It is good to set the scene by talking first about physical boundaries and acknowledging that everyone is different in terms of physical space and contact. Some people like to hug to greet each other and some do not, this is no different with youth. It is good to have an open discussion about this, particularly as it can feed into sexual boundaries as well – one party feels like the other is attracted to them. It is important to check in with your young person around physical boundaries and take your lead from what they are comfortable with.
Following on from talking about physical boundaries, clarify things around emotional boundaries. As a youth worker and youth mentor, you can often find yourself in the role of helping young people in distress and this means dealing with emotions. It’s good to be able to work out with the young person what makes them tick, how they respond in certain situations (triggers) and how you can help them navigate their way through their emotions. This can lead into a conversation around emotional boundaries and how the youth work relationship can remain a safe space but may also help the young person in navigating their boundaries with their peers.
Obviously, things pop up naturally in the youth work relationship and it requires you as the youth worker to have a courageous conversation with the young person. Communication is key when situations occur that require boundaries to be enforced. It is important to make sure the young person knows that they can talk to you openly and honestly when they feel like their boundaries have been breached.
Establishing appropriate sexual boundaries is really important when working with young people who may see their relationship with the youth worker as more than someone there to provide them with support. The young person may even view the youth worker as a potential partner (boyfriend or girlfriend). This doesn’t just happen between different sexes but also with same-sex youth worker–young person relationships. It is important to lay down these boundaries earlier. Make it crystal clear what your role is in working with the young person.
Online boundaries are also important, as often social media is the most reliable way to communicate with youth. Some youth organisations have policies about social media use, and it is important to familiarise yourself with this. If you do use social media with your young people, it can be beneficial to have a separate work account/profile to separate your personal life from your professional one. Other ways to maintain boundaries online include being clear with young people about the hours you work and the days and times you will respond. Make it clear which services they can access, especially after hours and in a crisis. You can make this part of your bio information on your profile.”
Why does youth work need boundaries?
The Code of Ethics for Youth Work in Aotearoa New Zealand also outlines the purpose of boundaries in youth work.3
The purpose of boundaries is to: ensure a safe space for all; prevent unhealthy, dependent relationships; prevent favouritism, rescuing or corruption; and enhance the mana of the relationship.Code of Ethics for Youth Work in Aotearoa New Zealand
We will explore some of these aspects in greater detail later in the Module, but for now the youth worker will give some examples of the role boundaries play in helping to achieve the four purposes identified in the quote. This advice applies to themself as a youth worker and to young people they work with like Peter and Anahera.
Read commentary by an experienced youth worker on the purpose of boundaries in the youth work relationship.
“Establishing a safe space in the youth work relationship is paramount. Putting boundaries in place helps do this and keeps both the young person and youth worker safe.
Boundaries prevent favouritism, rescuing and corruption as long as you are consistent. That is, you have the same boundaries for all the young people you work with and have the same messages around boundaries for everyone. Not setting good boundaries can create a free-for-all and you, as the youth worker, may find yourself going above and beyond your role and/or giving too much to one particular young person.
Having clear boundaries from the start can prevent unhealthy and dependent relationships. As a youth worker your goal should be to whakamana or empower the young person in their development. To achieve this you need to be aware of power dynamics and the potential to create dependency – where they come to depend on you for certain things, even though they are fully capable of doing those things for themselves and may have already demonstrated their ability to do so. Our role as youth workers is to support, empower and build up the young people we work with.”
Have you read through the information about youth worker relationships and boundaries, and explored further about anything that you find particularly interesting?
You are now ready to complete Journal Entry 1.
In your journal, write about professional boundaries and your role as a youth worker.
These questions are here to prompt your thinking:
- What are my own personal boundaries? And how do I go about establishing those boundaries with people in my life?
- What role do boundaries play in self-care?
- What are professional boundaries? What are some of my and/or my organisation’s professional boundaries?
- How do I feel about my professional boundaries? How similar or different are they to my personal boundaries?
- What do boundaries mean to me in my day-to-day role at work as I establish and maintain relationships with youth? How does my organisation support me in this?
- Which issues with boundaries at work do I have the most difficulty with? Why?
Personal reflection: What do boundaries mean for me in my professional role working with young people?
What do I do with my journal entry?
At the end of this programme, you will collate and reflect on your journal entries and submit evidence that you have been journaling throughout the programme about your learning and how it applies to your youth work practice.
In the previous Module, you were encouraged to start journaling. In this Module, you will be asked to journal on a topic three times. You can obviously do more, but three will be expected.
You do not have to submit your actual journal writing (unless you want to). However, you are required to submit evidence of journaling along with Assessment 2.4. To meet this requirement, you must submit at least a half-page reflection on what you wrote, or an extract from your entry, for Journal Entry 1.
Important: You will not be assessed on the content of what you write, as it is personal to you and your own journey. But you must submit evidence of journaling with Assessment 2.4.
