Who am I?

Who are we? Who am I?

Identity is complex, but at its most basic it refers to our sense of who we are, and who we are in relationship to others, and can include our genetics, our histories, our memories, our experiences, our relationships and our values. It is what makes us ‘us’, what makes me ‘me’ and what makes you ‘you’. Identity forms over time as new aspects of ourselves develop as we grow, learn and age.

Who am I? A simple question with a complicated answer. Difficult, emotional or even painful, but also empowering, satisfying and a way to know where we belong and who belongs with us.

Here are a few common ways we often think about identity:

Why don’t I know who I am?

It is normal to feel like you do not know who you are, especially when young or following major life changes. It is normal and even healthy to ask questions as your personal or social identity evolves over your lifetime.

Identity forms around three key aspects: potential, purpose and the opportunity to express that potential and purpose. During childhood we learn to appreciate and express our potential or to shut it down and hide it away. Our family, peers and other significant adults (such as teachers or coaches) and institutions like school or church are the most influential.

Feeling dissatisfaction, conflict or uncertainty in relation to identity can become a catalyst to think deeply about our values, choices, relationships and how we live our lives. Are our daily choices consistent with self-nurturing and feeling good about our potential and purpose? Where does our sense of self, both the positive and the negative, come from? Where does our identity tell us we belong?

Psychologist Erik Erikson uses the phrase ‘identity crisis’ to describe the stages of crisis and development we all go through. Erikson’s model explains how a challenge to our self-image becomes an opportunity to learn more about who we are and where we belong. Exploring identity is something young people do, they may ‘try on’ or experiment with different friends, activities, appearances, gender expressions, or sexualities, to learn who they are and who they want to be. However, this process of exploring and learning who we are can be lifelong.¹

“It’s just not me” – personal identity and authenticity

We all need opportunities to develop a robust, positive self-image and to feel that we have a right to ‘be ourselves’. Especially when we’re young, we need space to experiment with who we are; to see what fits and ‘feels like me’. And we need others to affirm us when we express our authentic selves.

As we get older, we often become committed to the self-image that was established in our youth and reinforced by our life choices and behaviours. But what happens if the self-image we reinforce is negative or harmful? What if the choices we made, or were made for us, leave us feeling trapped in a life that is not our own? What if we feel regret, dissatisfaction, we feel erased, or without purpose, potential or opportunity? In this situation, is the person we present to the world still a ‘true’ reflection of who we are on the inside?

Our internalised identity – who we think we are – is not something we always consciously understand. So, it is beneficial to take time to examine and challenge our own beliefs, expectations, and assumptions about who we are; and about who others are in relation to us. It takes time to find a balance between the freedom to express our ‘true’ self and our need to ‘fit in’ with our society and community.

How do we resolve the tension or conflict between being ourselves and belonging to a community and living in a society? How do we live an authentic life that aligns with our values alongside others whose authentic selves and values we also respect?

Task: Reflection questions

Many factors contribute to identity, including gender, ethnicity, culture, values, sexuality, whānau, friends, school, community, media, society, and more.

Think about these questions:

• Which factors can you identify that contribute to your identity?
• In what ways are these factors positive contributions?
• Are there any factors whose impact has been negative?
• How does identity influence what you do in life and how you do it?
• How does identity impact how others interact with or behave towards you?
• How do you feel about yourself and your place in the world?
• What role does identity play in your day-to-day life?

Explore further

If you would like to learn more about authenticity and identity, you might find this article from Psychology Today² interesting. It discusses what it means to have an ‘authentic self’ and presents some strategies on how to explore and express yourself – the more authentic you. Develop authenticity: 20 ways to be a more authentic person

Identity and confusion, Erikson’s fifth stage of ego development, occurs during adolescence. You might find it interesting to review this article³ to learn more. Identity vs. role confusion in psychosocial development

What is culture and cultural identity?

There are many ways to define ‘culture’ and ‘cultural identity’. These definitions continue to evolve as research, and our ways of thinking about culture, expand and develop. Take a look at the quote below, from a report produced by the Ministry of Social Development in 2016⁴ and answer the questions that follow.

Task: Considering cultural identity

Read over the above quote⁴ again and think about these questions:

• Do you agree with how this quote defines cultural identity? Why, or why not?
• How significant is cultural identity for your own sense of self and how you relate to others?
• In your experience, how does a sense of cultural identity contribute to a person’s overall wellbeing?

Between identity and culture

Culture is not stable. It is dynamic – constantly in negotiation with and adapting to its environment and the human experience. Even what we think of as ‘traditional’ changes over time or if people move to a new location.

We learn culture from the institutions that socialise us like family, whānau, hapū, schools, the media and peer groups. Culture comes to us mediated through people and things like language (reo), music, clothing, traditions, rituals, ceremony, art, dance, stories, sport, media, cultural icons or celebrities, and symbols.

We recognise culture as patterns of similarity among people within groups. Individuals or subgroups may deviate or react against these patterns, but always in relation to and as part of the culture or how it is changing.

Culture influences what we believe is true or false and ethically right or wrong (our morals and values). Culture informs our attitudes, preferences (what we like or dislike) and our behaviour. Our identity is significantly informed and moulded by cultural influences.

Who am I? Cultural identity

Our own sense of ‘who I am’ (self-image) is fully interwoven with the ‘who you are’ projected onto us by others. As children, powerful cultural influences like family, school, peers and media help form our identity. While our personal and social identities do change over our lifetime, it is the earliest influences that often remain the strongest. As humans, we have self-awareness. We can objectively reflect on who we are as we grow and change, or as the world changes around us and we respond and adapt.

Acceptance within a cultural group requires acculturation and communication through culturally acceptable ways of being and behaving. In other words, we learn how to become a member of our culture (often because we are raised in it) and because we use the symbolic code (language, icons, rituals, and objects) that others in our cultural group recognise and understand. Acculturation can be direct – our parents tell us what to do – or indirect through the messages and representations we unconsciously pick up from media or popular culture for example.

Cultural identity can be both imposed onto a social group and self-defined by the group. Imposed identities are often based on stereotypes, while self-defined identities are usually more positive, complex and accurate reflections of who the group is. Cultural identities like cultures themselves are dynamic, constantly changing and dependant on a social and material context to be meaningful. Cultural identity changes as situations change.

Dominant and non-dominant identity

According to Martin and Nakayama (2010)⁵ understanding identity requires understanding its history and its relationship to power, resource distribution and status within a society. Despite individual exceptions, a dominant cultural identity within a society gives an unfair structural advantage, while non-dominant identities can face structural discrimination in the form of racism, sexism, or ableism. Dominant and non-dominant identity is about overall structural relationships. At an individual level, we may have a variety of relationships, circumstances and even multiple identities that we experience in unique ways.

A model for understanding this concept (Martin & Nakayama, 2010) is explained below. While this model applies to a range of identity types, here we think of it in relation to cultural identity.

Non-dominant identity

1. Lacking access to cultural knowledge: you may not be aware of, or interested in, the history and traditions of your cultural group. For example, second and third generation children who know little of the heritage or language of their migrant parents or grandparents. In some cases, this is a deliberate choice made by migrant parents, with the intention of helping their children to ‘fit in’ more easily with the dominant culture. One common example is deciding to only speak English at home, to increase exposure and fluency in English for migrant children.
2. Conformity to dominant culture: you become invested in the dominant group's identity as you internalise and adopt its values and norms, usually as part of an effort not to stand out as different. For example, people may change their appearance, mannerism, how they speak and even their names.
3. Resistance, separation, and challenge: conformity is stressful and exhausting, especially if, despite your best efforts, the dominant group still excludes you and treats you as different. As a result, you may start to turn away from ‘fitting in’ and towards actions that challenge the dominant culture. You may try to separate yourself from the mainstream and only interact with those who share your identity as a refuge from the experiences of discrimination and exclusion; but this may also become isolating and limiting over time.
4. Focus on structural change: you find a balance between embracing and celebrating your own cultural identity while valuing and interacting with other cultural groups (especially other non-dominant ones); you still feel the justifiable anger over discrimination, prejudice and exclusion, but that energy is directed towards making changes that improve society for all; working to break down the structural power hierarchies that give unfair advantages to some and exclude others.

Dominant identity

The dominant cultural identity within each country has an established position, it is assumed to be ‘the social norm’ (the default, expected, or most common cultural perspective). This situation is often left unexamined by the members of the dominant cultural group. As a result, ‘cultural identities’ are often seen as only applying to a society’s non-dominant groups, who present a visible contrast to the dominant identity. This framing of identity hides the ways that dominant structures and patterns of culture exclude and unfairly distribute power and resources. Exposing these aspects of the dominant identity is necessary in order to challenge and break its control over access to power and resources and redistribute them more evenly. Here are some of the key aspects of this experience, as observed frequently in people who identify with a dominant culture, according to Martin and Nakayama (2010):

1. Lacking awareness of your own or other identities: you may notice differences but ignore the hierarchy you are part of that treats others differently; or you assume the hierarchy does not apply to you. As a member of the dominant identity it may be difficult to appreciate the hierarchy because you never have to acknowledge your position in it as a problem, unlike those who feel the weight of its unfairness and discrimination.
2. Acceptance: you are aware of the hierarchy but do nothing to address it. Like those with non-dominant identities you may have been socialised through institutions, family, peers, media, religion or education to see the oppression of the hierarchy as normal. But unlike a member of a non-dominant group you do not directly experience the weight of the system’s unfairness on your life. You may see the issue as personal not structural. You may say things like, “I am a good person.” “I see everyone as equal.” “I treat everyone the same.” You might see non-dominant groups as exaggerating or complaining; or think that they should “work harder” or “get over it”. You may even see your structural advantage as “your right” due to cultural superiority. You are likely to continue to accept the status quo until repeatedly challenged through encounters with situations or people who make it clear to you that the status quo is unfair and unacceptable.
3. Resistance: you acknowledge the unearned advantage of your cultural identity; you may even feel guilt or shame and want to “return it”, disown or disassociate from your own cultural identity. Awareness of the inequality can make interactions with others who share the dominant identity uncomfortable. However, retreat is ultimately not that productive and does not help dismantle the unjust system.
4. Redefinition and integration: you share what you know with others in the dominant culture, you support change and are proactive in countering social norms. You are aware of how the dominant cultural identity impacts all aspects of everyone’s life. You allow this conscious awareness to inform your behaviour and relationships. You support the work of dismantling an unfair social order.

Explore further

To this point, we have made certain assumptions about what culture is. But defining culture and its relationship to identity in our society is a complicated business. If you would like to explore this further, you may find this breakdown interesting.⁶ While it is Australian, some of the complexities it throws up also apply within the context of Aotearoa New Zealand. Watch both videos. Culture and identity

Identity, culture, and cultural values

As you know, identity and culture are complicated and interwoven. Culture is made up of recognisable patterns of material objects, spaces, and resources, non-material aspects like language, arts, literature, music, traditions, and rituals, which are the expression of morals, social rules, behaviours, customs and values.

Task: Your own values

Before we continue, we’ll take a moment here to review what values are, and specifically what your values are. Watch the short video below (2:14) to hear some good prompts and questions that will help you to explore and define your own values.

Note that the article⁷ referred to in the video can be found here: What are your values? Deciding what’s most important in life

What are cultural values?

Cultural values are passed down through generations, shared and understood within a community as the basis of what it means to live a good life and how to behave. They are the foundation of who the community is and determine how moral and ethical decisions are made.

Shared cultural values help people connect as a cultural group. Shared values provide the group with unity and strength. It is what enables the group to understand and tolerate each other, to maintain social harmony and resolve conflicts, to divide resources and protect the overall wellbeing of the community.

Task: Cultural values and priorities

Think about your own cultural identity or identities, and the dominant New Zealand cultural framework.

We absorb cultural narratives (stories, messages and advice) from the media, from books that we read as children, from stories our parents tell us, and from what we observe from many sources as we grow up. What do you think the dominant cultural narratives in New Zealand tell us about what is good and right for society?

The following represents some of the most common contrasting cultural values that we can observe across the world. For each one, mark the point that best represents what your cultural framework tells you is good and right for society. If you identify with more than one cultural group you may like to compare and contrast the two.

It is good and right for society to:

Note: High-power distance means high tolerance for social inequality and for following strict social rules about where a person fits in the social hierarchy.

Note: High-doing values are productivity, being busy and meeting goals. High-being values focus on quality of life, relationships and time taken to get to know people, and just being with them.

Note: High-humane values relate to the well-being of others – people, nature, animals, fitting into the world as it is, altruism and love. Low-humane values focus on self-enhancement and comfort, individual power, possessions, and self-reliance.

Note: High-satisfaction values include pleasure seeking, having fun, finding enjoyment in life. Having high-restraint and control values means prioritising order, restraint, strict social norms, curbing hedonism, and having well-regulated social behaviour and systems.

Explore further

Read this article by Dr. Sue Bagshaw on identity, culture and values⁸ and spend some time thinking about the statements below. You may have read this article in Module 2, but this is a useful place to review it again. Mauri identity life spark

What are your thoughts on these statements?

• Culture can encourage belonging but should not be used to exclude those who are different.
• What we value is where we give our attention – so take care of what you value.

In-groups and out-groups

As humans, we notice similarity and difference. Subconsciously we use these perceptions to put people we meet into in-groups and out-groups based on how similar or different we think they are from ourselves.

Society attaches out-group status to people based on perceptions of characteristics mediated through stereotypes and prejudices. This erases a person’s individuality and complexity and distorts how we communicate with and treat them. It negatively impacts how we collectively value them as members of society. It enables discrimination because the assumption of who they are (the stereotype) makes it ‘common sense’ or natural to see them as untrustworthy or less competent than their peers. And as a result, they may find it harder to get a job; for example, or teachers may lower their expectations or provide them with fewer opportunities. Police may be more suspicious and vigilant in how they interact with them.

It is important to understand the history of how certain differences acquired their social and cultural significance and what impact this is having on society today. Identity and power relationships change over time. Cultural difference is not ‘natural’ or ‘timeless’. In our society, an ideological history of hierarchy and dominance has normalised unequal power relationships and access to resources and social status. The cultural norms of the dominant culture can make it seem natural or even right that certain peoples and cultures would be oppressed, discriminated against, disregarded or mistreated, replaced, marginalised or viewed as inferior.

Today, we still live in an unequal society. We need to think critically about institutions, positions, roles and patterns of interaction. We need to be aware of ‘who we are’ in relation to colleagues and the young people we work with. Are we aware of the impact that identity, culture and values have on our interpersonal relationships and workplaces? The better we understand these structural dynamics the better placed we are to help our young people explore their identity, potential and purpose; to help them achieve a more positive self-image and to live a meaningful life.

Task: Culture and expressions of emotion

Read this article about a psychological study into how cultural values can unconsciously influence how we respond to others: How does your culture influence the people you trust?⁹

Note – in this article, the noun form of the word ‘affect’ is used frequently. When you read this word, the stress is on the first syllable (af-ekt). In this context, affect refers to the expressions of emotion that we can observe in others – their facial expressions, gestures, postures, and tone of voice.

Think about these questions:

• What is ideal affect and how does it relate to cultural difference?
• How did cultural values in this study influence who the participants unconsciously responded to more favourably and saw as more trustworthy?
• What do the findings of a study like this mean for us and how we interact with others?

Task: Reflection question

Learning more about where you come from – your whakapapa, family history and cultural roots – brings a deeper understanding of why you think, feel and behave the way you do. It can bring with it greater confidence, a stronger self-image and more compassion for yourself and others as you understand where positive and negative aspects of personal, social and cultural identities may come from. You enhance your sense of belonging and connection to others.

The more conscious you are of your own identity, culture and values and their relationship to structural power within society the more equipped you are to support and mentor young people as they navigate these issues.

• What are some examples of how exploring your own identity, culture and values can improve your practice working with young people?

Explore further

Have some fun exploring your own cultural identity at the website¹⁰ below. Try out the examples at the bottom of the page. You might even be able to use some of these activity ideas with young people you work with. Cultural identity – there’s a source of power in your DNA 

Have you read through the information in this topic and explored further anything that you found particularly interesting?

You are now ready to complete Journal Entry 1.

In your journal, write about how awareness of your own identity, culture and values helps you to better understand who you are.

These questions are here to prompt your thinking:

• How do you define your identity? What do you see as the most important factors contributing to your identity?
• What is your culture or cultures? How important is culture to your identity? Which cultural influences have had the most impact on you?
• How does your cultural or family background influence your own personal values system?
• How does your whakapapa or family history influence your identity and who you (and your family) are today?

Personal reflection: Exploring my identity, culture and values, whakapapa or family history helps me better understand who I am – how I think, feel and behave. Who am I?

What do I do with my journal entry?

At the end of this programme, you will collate and reflect on your journal entries and submit evidence that you have been journaling throughout the programme about your learning and how it applies to your youth work practice.

In the previous Module, you were expected to journal three times. In this Module, you will be asked to journal on a topic once. You can obviously do more, but at least one journal entry will be expected.

You do not have to submit your actual journal writing (unless you want to). However, you are required to submit evidence of journaling along with Assessment 3.2. To meet this requirement, you must submit at least a half-page reflection on what you wrote, or an extract from your entry, for Journal Entry 1.

Important: You will not be assessed on the content of what you write, as it is personal to you and your own journey. But you must submit evidence of journaling with Assessment 3.2.