Youth work relationships

Healthy connections and relationships within communities are what supports all aspects of holistic youth development. Youth work relationships are part of a bigger picture in which many different relationships come together to impact the individuals.

What is connectedness?

Connectedness is a term that is increasingly used to describe positive and protective (safe) relationships between people and the places, spaces, and environments they grow up in. While relationships with other people are important, connectedness encompasses belonging, attachment, reciprocal respect, and a positive regard for the places and practices that are associated with the adult world, such as schools, institutions, youth centres, and counselling offices. Connectedness gives a sense of place and belonging that comes from trusting that all members are equally valued.¹

Task: Weaving connections

Much of this topic is based on the document Positive Youth Development in Aotearoa: Weaving connections – Tūhonohono rangatahi² which was developed by the Wayne Francis Charitable Trust. Download a copy now and make sure you have it available to refer to as you work your way through the rest of this topic.

This resource looks at the bigger picture that youth work relationships fit into. Many different relationships come together to impact young people. It introduces approaches that individual youth workers can apply to improve community connections for themselves and the young people they mentor and work with.

Read pages 6 to 8 of the Weaving connections – Tūhonohono rangatahi document. Think about how this framework defines what a healthy youth work relationship is and how you could relate this framework to the following:

• Approaching relationships with youth in relation to cultural differences
• Holistic safety for rangatahi and your own hauora and professional image
• The role of reflection practices and professional supervision (you will learn more about these later in this course).

Note: As you have seen throughout this course, reflection is an approach to learning from experience, in which you think deeply about an experience to learn its lessons. You then incorporate this learning into your practice and continue to reflect on what you do in an ongoing learning cycle.

Holistic relationships – Te Whare Tapa Whā

It is important to include all aspects of youth development – physical, emotional, spiritual, social, intellectual – within your practice and youth relationships. You cannot just focus on one or two.

Read page 11 in Weaving connections – Tūhonohono rangatahi, which summarises Te Whare Tapa Whā. This model has been touched on previously, but here is a quick recap. This health model presents a kaupapa Māori world view as developed by Sir Mason Durie (1994).³ It covers the many dimensions that contribute to the wellbeing of a whole person: physical health, spiritual health, family health, and mental health. It advocates that all four dimensions need to be in balance. When one is missing or damaged, a person can become unwell or a collective can become unbalanced.

Reflection:

• Take a few minutes to think about how each dimension relates to healthy youth work relationships.
• When you reflect on the relationships you currently have with young people in light of this model, what do you see? Are there any aspects you could improve or strengthen?

Life isn’t lived alone; we all need people and positive relationships to thrive. Models such as Te Whare Tapa Whā and the 5 C’s model discussed in the video below take a holistic approach, and consider how the different aspects of our lives all contribute to our overall wellbeing and success. The 5 C’s model provides a framework for focusing on what young people are doing well. Before you watch the video, take a moment to think about some young people that you have observed over the years who were doing well in many different aspects of life. How would you describe them? What was the key to their success? Watch the video (02:39)⁴ and see if you can relate to the 5 C’s of Positive Youth Development. Does the explanation in the video bring to mind any youth that you’ve known or worked with?

Task: 5 C’s of positive youth development

Read page 17 in Weaving connections – Tūhonohono rangatahi and compare the information about the 5 C’s with what you learned in the video. Then test your memory by completing the exercise below. At the end of the paragraph the sixth C is also mentioned, which is made possible when all the 5 C’s come together. Choose the correct word to fill in each of the gaps:

Now read the case study of Manaia, on pages 18 and 19 of Weaving connections – Tūhonohono rangatahi, and consider how each of the 5 C’s relate to her story. After you have finished reading, answer the following question:

• If you were a youth worker in this case, how could you use the 5 C’s model of positive youth development to inform your relationship and work with Manaia?
• Which of the 5 C’s would be your first priority?

Positive relationships

Healthy relationships help knit strong communities together to raise mature, healthy youth. Relationships within communities provide young people with models of positive, healthy relationships and provide strong networks of support.

Youth workers improve relationships through being active members of the community. When helping at community events or fundraisers you are building relationships, gaining understanding of those you work with, and extending your networks. You can begin to appreciate the culture of the communities you participate in and develop an understanding of how they can help young people to thrive and where further support is necessary. As young people watch you building healthy community relationships, the easier it becomes for them to trust you and your advice because they see you as being present and knowing about where they are from.

The more you understand the role youth work relationships can play in the lives of individuals and the wider community, the more positively you can see your role and the more appropriate your support can be. How you relate to the wider community will also act as an example for young people to follow.

Read and reflect on the statement above. What does it mean for the style of leadership that you are modelling for the young people you work with? Does your organisation also embody this style of leadership, or does it use a more ‘top down’ approach? Why do you think this is?

Next, read page 5 of Weaving connections – Tūhonohono rangatahi, so that you can see the full context and explanation for the quote above. Matua George Ehau was a kaumatua for Te Ora Hou Ōtautahi and He Waka Tapu who made a significant contribution to the original Positive Youth Development Aotearoa framework. After reading page 5, answer the following questions in your journal:

• What is one aspect of your leadership or mentoring style that you want to prioritise as an area for growth and your own learning?
• List two or three actions you could take to move towards the leadership style described above by Matua George Ehau, if you think this form of leadership is appropriate for your current role.

Task: Developing connected communities

Read the section Outcome two: Developing connected communities on pages 20 to 24 in Weaving connections – Tūhonohono rangatahi, to explore how involvement in a community influences a young person’s development.

Reflect on the following questions from the document (page 24):

• What communities and subcultures are important to the young people that you are working with? What does it mean to work respectfully with these communities to best support young people?
• Do you work with Māori young people and know where they whakapapa to? How do you support and value the connection of those young people to whānau (people and place)?

Task: Respectful relationships

How you build relationships with young people and their communities depends on the context in which you are working. What distinguishes your practice is the quality of the relationships more than the delivery of a particular service or programme.

Guidelines to building healthy community and individual relationships include:

• Taking time to build rapport and human connections.
• Honouring your commitments – do what you say you will do, be available when you say you are.
• Being alert to biases, judgements, and assumptions in relation to cultural differences (you may be unaware of your own bias), so be open to learning and changing.
• Valuing the importance of kai and kōrero in building trust in relationships; it may not be a long conversation, but long enough to check in with people in a more natural and relaxed way so that all participants feel comfortable to share with each other.

Task: Ethical youth work relationships

Our relationships are grounded in the eight principles of Mana Taiohi:⁵

1. Mauri: We fuel the mauri, the inherent life spark of young people, supporting the development of their identity.
2. Whakapapa: With young people we understand and affirm their whakapapa.
3. Hononga: With young people we understand hononga, identify and strengthen connections.
4. Te ao: With young people we explore te ao, the world of the young person.
5. Whanaungatanga: With young people we prioritise whanaungatanga, taking time to build and sustain quality relationships.
6. Manaakitanga: With young people we uphold and extend manaakitanga, nourishing collective wellbeing.
7. Whai wāhitanga: Acknowledging mana, whai wāhitanga recognises young people as valued contributors to society, giving them space to participate, assume agency and take responsibility.
8. Mātauranga: With young people we are empowered by rich and diverse mātauranga, informed by good information.

Choose two or three of the principles above and record some ideas in your journal about words and actions that you incorporate into your youth work practice to help you embody your chosen principles from the list. Write about a few things that you are already doing well, and write down ideas for what you would like to do more of in the near future.

Task: Boundaries for healthy relationships

Boundaries are an essential component of healthy youth work relationships. They keep both you and rangatahi safe in many ways. Be aware of the boundaries you are setting (or not setting) and how you communicate around them. Consistency is critical.

Maintaining clear roles and boundaries is especially important when you are part of the wider community that a young person you work with comes from and is connected to. You may find yourself playing more than one role in that young person’s life. For example, you might be their youth worker, a member of their church, and/or their neighbour. Be aware of how boundary lines may become blurred between your roles or where important boundary lines are at risk of being crossed. Reflect on what your roles are and what boundaries you need to put in place. If boundaries or distinctions around your roles become blurred, how might this impact the nature of the youth work relationship or impact the young person? Will it negatively impact your ability to work effectively with this young person?

You can set boundaries in the following areas:

• Space: restrict the range of locations where you will interact with the young person.
• Time: be clear and consistent about the limits of your time, and when you are available to meet with them or communicate with them.
• Communication: consider limiting the forms of communication that you prefer to use when working with young people. Do you prefer text messages, email, phone calls, or social media? Which of these work best for you? Consider the range of topics you feel comfortable talking to young people about, during and outside of your sessions.
• Roles and responsibilities: continue to reflect on the limits of your role as a youth worker.

This list provides a few common areas for boundary setting but it is not an exhaustive list, can you think of any additional areas for setting boundaries? Think about how you might feel when a boundary has been crossed. You may feel anxious, experience a tight or heavy feeling in your chest, find yourself ruminating or thinking at length about the interaction, or feel annoyed or even angry. This is all useful information to reflect on. Respond carefully and thoughtfully to the situation at hand and think about what specific boundaries you may need to work on in order to feel comfortable again in the relationship. Assert your needs calmly and use positive language that explains the outcome or action you would prefer.

When ethical boundary issues come up you can always go back to the Code of Ethics⁵ for guidance. Reflect by yourself and then discuss the situation with colleagues. Talk the issue over with a supervisor. They will be able to help you navigate these kinds of situations. We will look at professional supervision in the next module.

Youth workers as mentors and facilitators

Your role is likely to involve working with young people within a mentoring and/or facilitating role and relationship. This relationship must be both professional and authentic to appropriately provide the support and guidance the young people need. This may be one individual or a group of rangatahi you mentor regularly.

Relationship with a group

You build rapport with the group, but also a relationship with each person in the group.

Building and maintaining a healthy relationship to mentor or facilitate a group means being aware of what is going on with individuals and between individuals. Attitudes, positive or negative, can influence how the young people engage with a situation or activity, so you may need to spend time exploring individual reactions, group dynamics or interpersonal interactions before you can use the mentoring relationship to support and encourage participation, community involvement, relationship building, confidence development and communal support.

Sometimes individual kōrero away from others is useful to find out what is going on and ensure a session goes smoothy and works for everyone.

When working with young people, always be prepared for thing not to go as planned. You may need to change up activities or even abandon your planned schedule altogether. This is where the nature and quality of the relationship you have built with them becomes especially important. It enables you to gage the mood and have a sense of when issues are coming up. Further, when young people trust you they are more likely to tell you what is really going on, to accept your guidance or be more open to participating in what you whatever you want to involve them in.

Your role in the relationship

The purpose of your role is to act as a guide or mentor. You are not telling a young person what is right or wrong, or what to think or how to behave “because you said so”. You are helping them to make the best choices for them themselves. You may provide them with support, encouragement, access to information or resources, conversation, questions, and stories that makes them think. You are helping them to reach informed conclusions and make decisions that are right for them. You want them to progress and reach their goals. However, sometimes they just need you to listen and be there for them as they experience and sort through their thoughts and emotions for themselves.

Task: Relationships with youth

Read the section Approach two: Respectful relationships on pages 38–41 in Weaving connections – Tūhonohono rangatahi. Think about how you can relate this to working with a group of young people in the roles of facilitator and mentor (as individuals and as a group).

Look at diagram 14, the learning environments matrix, on page 39. Where would you put a group of young people you work with on this matrix? How does this impact the type of relationship you have with them?

Task: Relationships to support participation

Read the section Approach three: Building ownership and empowerment on pages 47–49 in Weaving connections – Tūhonohono rangatahi. As you read, think about how to build approaches that affirm young people’s agency and prioritise their participation as grounded in tino rangatiratanga. You may have covered some of these points earlier in the programme. Think about how the information on pages 47–49 reinforces your earlier learning.

Pages 50–52 show a series of ‘Ideas in Action’ that give youth workers cohesive models to work with. Read through pages 50–52 now, and then select one of the models from the document that resonates with you:

• The Meihana model
• Participation model
• Wierenga’s Star

Reflect on your practice:

• How might you use this model as a framework for a session with a group of young people you mentor or facilitate?
• How do youth work relationships achieve the two outcomes of developing the whole person and developing connected communities? Consider the three approaches of: being strength-based, building autonomy, and building a sense of ownership and empowerment. How does good youth work practice work towards these outcomes for both individuals and communities?

Explore further

Skim through the remainder of the document Positive Youth Development in Aotearoa: Weaving connections – Tūhonohono rangatahi.² Look for two or three sections that weren’t covered in this topic, that you would like to read or learn more about. Read through the pages or sections that interest you most.

Act for Youth has a series of resources (including activities and handouts) on developmental relationships, inclusive program environments, deconstructing biases, and more.⁶

You are now ready to complete Task 4 – Journal Entry 4, in Assessment 4.2. The instructions for Journal Entry 4 are as follows:

In your journal, write about youth work relationships in mentoring.

These questions are here to prompt your thinking:

• How do you define best practice mentoring in your youth work context? How is a mentor different to other roles? What are its benefits? What are its challenges?
• How does your approach to building relationships in youth work relate to the Code of Ethics for Youth Work in Aotearoa?

Personal reflection: How do you approach mentoring young people? What are the advantages of this approach? Which aspects of mentoring do you find the most challenging?

Well done! When you have finished this journal entry, you are ready to move on to the next topic, which is the first in a series of four topics that guide you to plan and carry out your project.